I got a job for the holidays in one of my favorite women’s clothing store. I wear their clothes and love what they have to offer. The literature I had to read to begin working there said the idea was formed to have comfortable things for women to come home to after a day of work. The clothing and bedding are rated on its softness. Everything is soft but some things are incredibly soft. I spent time going through the store while I was working feeling what was the absolute softest thing in the store. The winner was these incredibly soft throws which I bought for everyone in my family.
Cindy had one of them. My sister Mary bought it for her years before. My sisters always bought Cindy soft things. She loved them and was very sensitive to softness. She had soft clothes and blankets and towels and robes and sheets……. and she was soft. I know you know that but it bears repeating because Cindy was amazingly soft. Her skin was like a newborn’s skin. She was sheltered from harsh substances and a harsh environment. Every day after her hour shower she would slowly, and with great care, put cream on all of her body. She always had the same ritual of putting cream on after a long warm shower. Then she put powder on and leisurely got dressed. Her days started slowly and softly and she never altered her routine. She knew how to care for herself and how to give herself the tenderness and gentleness she needed. It was beautiful how she lived with such care and respect for her self.
As I remember what Cindy did and how she lived I remember to be softer with myself. I feel more gentle as I write and I am kinder to myself even for these moments I am putting this down. I sit back sometimes and close my eyes and see how Cindy lived and moved through her life. Softly and gently and with an abundance of time she lingered in love. She never hurried and she was never unkind to herself or others. She simply lived and lingered in love.
I so rarely do that and yet in this moment I know if I spent a bit more time lingering in self-love every day my capacity to interact in my life would shift dramatically. I would truly live more in my life. I would truly love more of my life, and I would love more life. I love life in bits and parts. I seem like a big lover to others. People think I’m kind and nice, and I am to an extent, but not fully. Fear is in my way. Fear is something Cindy did not have. She only loved. That’s all she was and all she knew, and that is the gift she gave.
What would happen if in this moment you let go and opened up to a part of yourself that was soft and tender, or that needed tenderness? What would it be like to give your self permission to pamper your self in softness? To linger in self-love and care? If you can, close your eyes and feel what that would be like. Even if it’s only for a moment, linger. What happens in you when you even think the thought of surrounding your self with softness?
‘It only takes a moment to be loved your whole life long.’ That’s a line I sing all the time from the song, ‘It only takes a moment’ from Hello, Dolly! A verse in the song is;
‘And that is all that love’s about
And we’ll recall when time runs out
That it only took a moment
To be loved a whole life long’
Since I began writing this blog I notice I am shifting a little bit and I know I have a long way to go. I need more courage to be me in the midst of all the voices in my head that tell me I shouldn’t love my self too much.
I need more courage to be me with others when all the feelings in my heart tell me I need to be different, smarter, thinner, quieter, faster….than I am rather than love myself as I am. And, I am changing and finding more peace and ease and love of and with myself. And for that I am deeply, deeply grateful. And for you, reading this and giving your comments that you share these thoughts and feelings too, I am deeply grateful.
For a moment let’s linger in love, like Cindy did in every moment of her life.