Love Lessons; Simple Leaders

My partner and I work in the area of Leadership Development.  We work with leaders and leadership teams helping them communicate more authentically and effectively.  We also help shift the culture of an organization from one of fear and scarcity to one of openness, awareness and evolution.  Big ideas I know.  Lofty aspirations.  We use the model of The Enneagram in depth to help lead people to a greater awareness of who they really are beneath the masks of their personality.  We  also help them discover their essential gifts that they alone bring to the organization and the people around them.

We do this over a period of time where people gain a deeper understanding of what it means to truly be present with them selves and one another.  That takes time, patience and practice.   It also requires a very heavy dose of acceptance and willingness to shift what they hold onto as true about themselves.

It’s a hard sell.  How would you feel if I came into your space and said there’s a good chance you are not who you think you are?  And what if I said you are not who you think you should be?  You might want to throw me out on the street.  Most likely you wouldn’t want to commit to a significant amount of time and money to ‘un-learn’ what you think you know in order to ‘possibly’ learn something profoundly important and new.   We can’t guarantee you will learn something profound that will shift how you live at work and through the rest of your life.  We can’t guarantee that because it’s totally up to you to allow yourself to be moved from where you are to where you could be in your thinking, feeling and knowing life.

We see people change, dramatically, when they let them selves become less of who they think they are and more of who they really are.  That’s a very important point.  Becoming less of who you think you should be and more of who you really are is sometimes profoundly life altering.  What would that be like for you if you were to explore that idea?  Do you think there is any truth to this, and that you may not be who you think you are?

I wrote a blog entitled ’15 steps to nowhere’ around the holidays because I was tired of seeing all the headlines about 3 steps to this and 5 ways to that and 6 practices to become whatever.   I thought it seemed so crazy and I still do.  There aren’t any steps.  There aren’t any things you can really do to get closer to your self.  That’s crazy making nonsense in my opinion.

The place to be is always and only home  in  your  self.  Where you need to go is in.  What you need to do is listen to the voice that is dying to be heard inside of you.  That voice is you.  All that other noise on the outside is only garbage.

You know who and what you are.  

You are the expert about what your being needs to flourish and thrive.

No amount of steps that someone else can give you will get you there.  You are already there.  You only have to listen to that still, quiet voice within you directing you to what is best and right for you.

That is what our work helps you do.  That is where the true work of the Enneagram leads.  It leads us all home, to our self where we are the expert.  No amount of steps are required, only a willingness to come into contact with the crushing and exhilarating reality of you.  The real you.  The real deal.

I write these blogs from what I have learned from my sister Cindy, a very wise woman in simple form. She had Down Syndrome and was labeled ‘retarded’ and yet she was the purest, most honest leader I have ever known. That is why I am compelled to share what I share with you.  We so often overlook the wisdom from the simplest beings who speak the softest and end up making life much more complicated and painful than it needs to be.

For a moment imagine what it would be like for you to listen to the simplest beings and the softest sounds.  Imagine seeing your life from the perspective of an innocent creature who has nothing in them but love and acceptance and wonder.  Imagine a world where we cared more for those that are ‘weaker’ and more ‘vulnerable’ than our selves than we care for those that have more power, authority and the loudest voices?  What kind of world do you think you would create by listening to the softest souls and the gentlest sounds?   What would happen if you turned your eyes and ears to those that share the least?

And what would you feel like if someone did that for you?

Just the thought makes me melt with tenderness.

Love Lessons

Love Lessons


Love Lessons; Simple Leaders — 6 Comments

  1. Beautiful. Particularly: Imagine a world where we cared more for those that are ‘weaker’ and more ‘vulnerable’ than our selves than we care for those that have more power, authority and the loudest voices? What kind of world do you think you would create by listening to the softest souls and the gentlest sounds?” It makes me feel warm inside thinking of someone doing that for me too. Thanks for sharing Melody.

    • Susan, Thank you for your comment. I sent you an email with a few questions. I am happy to help connect you to resources. The work of the Enneagram is invaluable for therapists.

      Best to you,


  2. Hi Melody;
    Your point is so well taken. Whenever I speak to so called business leaders about collaborative leadership and the triple bottom line leadership I typically get blank stares. Only very few leader-managers are willing to go self-awareness deep diving. How can we invite more people to do this? How do we (I) become more effective at attracting people to start doing more of this?

    • That’s the real question Ralf. I believe we must first and always live this way as exemplars. You do this, and from what I hear you influence the lives of many people through your humanity and authenticity.

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