Dear 2020, 

This is going to be short and not so sweet. Actually, it’s not short either so get over it.

Fuck you. 

Really.  Fuck you.

You took my freedom. You took my office. You took my biggest client. You took my ability to be with people I love. You took my ability to travel to see those I love. 

You took hundreds of thousands of people’s lives from those who love them in the harshest and most cruel ways and left them to die alone with no one there to comfort them.  You took people’s homes and livelihoods and left millions without enough food to eat.

You took my belief and faith that people are basically and fundamentally good and left me with the reality that 70 million people in this country are either selfish, stupid, lazy, greedy, bigoted or evil and have a moral backbone made of mud.  You took my faith that democracy was a given and left me with the reality that those who are tasked with the privilege of holding to those ideals, are willing to sell anything for their own personal benefit.  Including their own souls.

You took my ability to swim and exercise in a way that feels good for me. You took away my friends at the Y.   

You took almost everything.  And at the very end, you took our beloved dog, Danny.  Fuck you. 

But you know what happened through all that you so cruelly stole?  A resolve started to appear that grew bigger with each loss, pain and heartache.  That resolve is beginning to spread over your selfishness and abject greed and is sucking the oxygen out of your frail lungs as you wince away.  Soon you will be alone and lose hold of what you so hoped to take.   I and countless others are breathing more deeply and fully knowing all the wind is falling from your sails as you sink and wilt away.

Your evil throughout this last year made me kinder. You cruelty that seemed to know no bounds, made me softer. Your lack of courage made me fiercer in my ability to love and care for what is most important. You did not take my ability to give.  In fact, you made me fiercer in my ability to care and create meaning, beauty and goodness.  That’s the truth.  I have grown in love more than I knew was possible.

Don’t expect a thank you. You won’t get it. I and so many others did this in spite of you.  My hope is that your evil and selfishness will be completely destroyed by goodness and love.  I will use what I have learned this year in the world to my and other’s advantage.  I will continue to stomp you out wherever you may rise.  You are done.  It’s over.  You have no future here and are not wanted or welcome anymore. 

And you can kiss my ass on your way out.  

With a vengeance,

Melody