For over three years I have been meeting with a friend on Zoom every Monday night. One night is ‘her night’ to be listened to and witnessed, the next is mine to be seen and held. We have developed an important relationship and understand one another deeply. How we hear and see one another in our authenticity feels rare and sacred. We trust each other enough to be vulnerable which allows both of us to grow.
On one of my nights I was lamenting about how much weight I gained. I was saying how little I’ve done except sit on my butt every day, all day, on Zoom this past year. My friend, in her not so subtle way, asked questions about what I was involved with and completed through the year. The answers revealed so much more than simply sitting in front of a computer. The difficulty the pandemic presented all of us forced us to be with ourselves and face fear and uncertainty in ways most had never done before. Many of us did deep inner work as we were forced to stay inside our homes all year. In our conversation I realized how hard I worked to build resilience and courage. While it looked like sitting so much more was going on beneath the surface.
I believe real transformation happens in the dark. We grow in ways that are not conscious until they are more complete. Like the work a seed does under the ground to begin to form into a flower or fruit, the real work isn’t visible until it breaks through the earth. All that happens below the surface is essential to allow the seed to develop into what it is intended to become.
That moment in our conversation was a turning point. It helped me re-frame what I perceived as real and see the truth of what was beginning to emerge and break through the surface. Through the year of dormancy my roots grew more deeply providing the support to transform. I discovered how important my voice was for myself and others and began to nurture what was emerging. While sitting for a year, but very much growing the force within me to speak what was true, I had developed more fully into the woman I want to become. Now I am determined to Re-Frame the future into a path that is more vital and fulfilling. While many are ‘getting back to normal,’ I am moving towards more aliveness and presence in moments and relationships that matter.
In a few weeks I will be seeking other women who hope to weave their dreams into something meaningful and create a new way of being in the world together.