My parents were married for 67 years. That’s more, much more than a lifetime for some people. For my Mom, it was a lifetime. She was 20 years old when she married my Father. When I consider what she is going through now with the sudden passing of my Dad, my heart aches. The burden of worry I have for her is a heaviness I am not used to carrying. I don’t know what to do with the weight and fear I have been holding for the last month. I have wanted to write and share some of this burden in the hopes I could find some clarity and hope.
A large portion of my work is helping others move through transitions. Change is very hard for most people with uncertainty and fear often accompanying most changes. So many transitions bring with them the possibility for something new and potentially wonderful and yet, many people fear the unknown. I understand that. It’s always easy to look from the other side of change and know that it was important and caused growth. Hindsight, as they say is 20/20.
When people are living in a place of fear I ask them to sense their inherent support. We have psychological, physical and spiritual support inside of ourselves when we choose to connect with it. Awareness is essential. Being aware that we have a choice, that we can ask for our own guidance, strength and inner knowing shifts people from fear to peace sometimes in an instant.
When I work with someone I listen and look to see what is not clear to them. I often ask the question, ‘what is missing for you?’ I wonder, and ask them to wonder what they are not seeing in themselves. When they begin to ponder that question they often sense what they have forgotten to bring into and nourish their souls. The work then is to simply re-mind them and ask them to re-member to come back within their own brilliance and support. I love helping people see and feel what is available to support them through their moments and days and lives.
As I feel so much compassion for what my Mom is going through I know I have enough support within me to carry all my feelings. I also am aware that I have all the support I need to help her through this time. Choice is the key. I must choose to awaken to my own support and encourage my Mom to discover hers. After 67 years of relying on my Father to fill and support her I wonder how available her memory is of her own support? She is an invalid and needs assistance to do everything.
If I truly believe what I teach, the gift I can bring to my Mother is to help her remember that, like Christopher Robin said to Pooh, she is braver than she believes, stronger than she knows, and smarter than she thinks.
Even after 67 years, and even though my Mom needs help to do almost everything, she has inherent support within her being which can help her move through this time, and the rest of her life with her own light shining.
It will be her choice.
My whole being prays she chooses to shine.