Compassion and acceptance are two of the best vehicles for creating positive change. We can’t effectively and sustainably change any other way. Sometimes we force ourselves into change, like putting on cool shoes that are a little too small only to find our feet blistered and painful from an incorrect fit. That’s not change, that’s just painful and a waste of time. Lasting change isn’t forced. We don’t get comfortable and fit into something that doesn’t fit in the beginning. It simply doesn’t work that way.
Powerful, positive, lasting change happens through love, and the way we live in our bodies is key. When we live like we are inside our most comfortable clothes we are in a loving and compassionate relationship with our selves. Like wearing our comfy worn pajamas that have our favorite smell in them, or wrapping ourselves up in a beautiful blanket, we surround ourselves with care and comfort. When we wear our selves gently we rest and begin to feel safe within, and inside of ourselves. We stop holding or squeezing. Attempting to be someone we are not falls away. We become comfortable being who we truly are.
In all my years of working with people I have never worked with anyone who was truly comfortable in their own skin and completely at ease in themselves. Everyone has felt some degree of discomfort as if their skin, their bodies were not the right fit. What is essential, and the most effective way to grow, is to learn how to become comfortable in the truth of who we are. When we become honest with our selves and give ourselves what we most need, we let go. The discomfort and holding fall away. The rigidity softens. Faking it becomes the real deal. It simply happens. When we give ourselves what we most need, we let go and become who we truly are.
When Cindy died my teacher, Mariah Fenton Gladis suggested I allow my sadness to embrace me fully and to hold my self in my own tenderness. That advice allowed me to soften into all my grief and honor Cindy even more by embracing all of my feelings fully. The way I honored my self in those days, weeks and months following her death opened me up to create a life for myself which more purely represented the love Cindy was and lived. I began to wear Cindy’s presence and love like my favorite clothes or a beautiful blanket.
Two things I love are blankets and bowls. I have many interesting bowls, all handmade. Each one is unique and often holds soup I make full of good, hearty broth, healthy vegetables and clean meat. A complete meal in one unique bowl that is nourishing, filling those I love with warmth and goodness.
And blankets, I have many in a variety of fabrics and fibers. Some have been purchased and some have been woven by people I love. Several of my blankets and odd-shaped bowls that others have no use for anymore I discover in consignment shops and bring home to fill and surround me with warmth, goodness and love.
Bowls and blankets. One is empty, waiting to be filled to nourish and the other is to surround and protect. Both are holding and supporting me and I readily and lovingly allow their embrace.
I have changed enormously in the years since Cindy died. I now am clean and sober. In order to grow into who I could become I needed to ask for and receive real help. Also, I am becoming honest with my self and beginning to love my self like no one has ever loved me before, with total and unconditional forgiveness, acceptance and love. I’m learning how to accept myself and live with compassion for the many mistakes I have made. I’m also forgiving my self and others for what I did and didn’t do through my life due to fear and the deepest, darkest shame.
I have a choice in every single moment and so do you. We can choose to receive what is good around us and accept protection and care or we can choose to remain cold, alone and isolated. We can choose to fill up with what nourishes us or we can starve for our own love and affection. I am choosing to love my self with tenderness and….the strength and determination of a lion. I am nourishing my self with love and forgiveness and learning how to wrap myself up in my own tender embrace.
I now see that I am my own beautiful bowl I have been waiting to fill and, I am my own soft warm blanket surrounding me with unconditional love. I have been waiting for me. I have been longing my whole life for me to show up and be my own lover, best friend, mother and champion.
You are your own best friend and you are on the only path to growth and change that is right for you, your own. When you open and love your self fully and unconditionally, you will begin to change and grow in the most astounding ways. Life will begin to reveal the beauty you have been blind to for so long. When you give your self what you most need; your love, acceptance, forgiveness and time you will start to become who you have been waiting for your whole life.
I am ready and so are you.
My time is now and so is yours.
Life is in front of us all calling, begging us to fill up and surround the world with our true selves.
Listen to the call………