These revisions are an attempt to distill and clarify what I have learned about how to love with grace. They are an attempt to get closer to what I believe is true and share some of the profound wisdom Cindy lived through the simplicity of a child. They are all about learning how to love. My head told me for many years that loving should be easy and yet I didn’t have a clue how. Even though I have lived in pursuit of knowledge and understanding I have not mastered how to love my self. My bookshelf has been full of books about how to love, in one way or another, and my belief was if I could learn one more thing I might be able to participate in the world as an equal.
When I was younger I thought God made a mistake in my family. I believed I was the one who was supposed to be ‘retarded’ and Cindy was supposed to be ‘normal.’ I carried enormous guilt with me throughout most of my life. That is the truth and all my studying and training didn’t touch that belief. I graduated from college, went to graduate school, got one certification, then another and three others. It’s all been fascinating and I love learning and my question is, when do I know enough to be in the world and feel as if I have something of value to share?
Carl Rogers, a humanistic psychologist said ‘the things we feel are most personal, are most general’. If that is true then some of you have these feelings as well. So what is the answer?
Let love in. We must open our hearts and minds to the belief that we are the same. We carry the same feelings, hurts, challenges and fears, and we all want deeply to be accepted and loved for who we are. Cindy would always say ‘you and me the same Mel.’ She said that to anyone who shared any similarity with her. It could be age, birthdate, hair color, food taste, pet loves, etc. She found common ground with every person she met. No matter what, ‘you and me the same.’
Every person I work with struggles with the same fears and doubts. Am I enough? Am I okay as I am? Am I worth it? Can I be me and be accepted fully for who I am?
‘You and me the same.’
Under each and every fear we have and struggle we go through we are all craving to be loved and accepted for who we really are. That’s what I have always wanted and now I know no matter how many certifications I get I will never find it unless, and until, I do what Cindy did so effortlessly.
Cindy loved her self and others without condition, judgement or question. She didn’t have to learn anything to love better and she didn’t have to do anything in order to receive love. She simply lived wide open every single minute of every single day.
I want to do the same.
Like a drop in the water I want to allow the love Cindy lived open and expand me to reveal the simple truth that
you and me the same