I can’t believe all the articles and posts I see that have steps to somewhere in the title. I don’t get it. I look at them and think, ‘yeah, if I do those things I’ll have more gratitude, less stress, more abundance, be happier, have better relationships, be more powerful, be the real me (as if someone else or any amount of steps can lead me to me), be thinner, sleep better, be more fun at work, and on and on and on. I want to say right now I AM SICK OF IT! I’m not exactly sure why, but I am sick of it. It’s everywhere! How many steps do we need to take to get places that are better than where we are right now?
Isn’t the real deal about being in the present moment? Isn’t it true that being ‘with’ our selves is far more effective than trying to find or attain something different?
I mean really. This is crazy to me and I don’t get it at all.
I struggle so much to be at peace. I have so much fear and shame and guilt and worry and I suffer a lot. And I bet others do to. And somewhere in my bones I believe that no steps are required to get anywhere. I think the work is to be where we are and to be real with ourselves and in those times we shift. I don’t believe any amount of steps will ever get me closer to the real, full, fulfilled, peaceful rock star I am. I think simply being with all of me and not going anywhere to look for something else is what it’s all about.
Am I crazy? Or do you think this may be right too? I know I’m not an expert. I’m a normal person who thinks about stuff sometimes. That’s all. I don’t have any credentials in happiness and fulfillment. I just live and love as best I can.
Right now I am filled with fear and anxiety and all sorts of things. I’m not anywhere near prepared for Christmas. I haven’t bought any presents and I haven’t decorated. And deep in my soul I know that this time is not about anxiety and all the stuff that should get done. Any moments we have with those we love can be about connection and love, not a to-do list with lots of steps to anger and resentment.
I have a little fear that my voice is crazy. That my thoughts are nuts. And I also feel that maybe they are not, and maybe they are similar to yours and this all seems crazy to you too.
I don’t want to read another headline about steps to anywhere. I don’t want to think about how to get some where I am not. I want to be here and listen to what is really going on inside me, and if by chance I hear my own voice leading me I will follow that inward……and then the steps I take in the world might be in love and light and freedom and truth.