When something was important for Cindy and she wanted me to know she meant what she said, as if she ever said anything she didn’t mean, she would say, ‘honest the truth Mel, honest the truth.’ For Cindy truth was was essential, and it was also beautiful. ‘I love you Mel, honest the truth. I love Neil so much, honest the truth. I missed you so much Mel, honest the truth.’ For much of what she said she added, honest the truth to emphasize the impact of what she was saying. She meant what she said and she wanted anyone to know she was being honest and forthright and that she was deeply committed to speaking her truth.
I’ve heard the phrase, ‘If it ain’t the truth, it’s a lie.’ That’s about as clear as it gets. If it ain’t the truth, it’s a lie. And, I lie. In so many little ways I lie to myself and others. I say I’m fine, when I’m not. I act like I care when I don’t. I say I’m too busy when I have time but don’t want to help. I say yes when I want to say no. I say no when I want to say yes. The list goes on. Honest the truth, much of the time I am so busy trying to be someone I don’t even know what the truth is.
Cindy never did that. She simply was who she was. She was Cindy Love. That’s it. She didn’t try to be anything other than her self. She lived truth, her truth. She was her self. Only all the time.
My absolute favorite moments in life are when truth is revealed. Sometimes it happens with people we love and feel safe with. It also happens sometimes in Alexander Technique Lessons, in Movement Therapy sessions, and in work my partner and I do with others based on the Enneagram and excavating for truth. We ask questions that require others to go in, layer by layer till they connect with something that is core and central to their being. When that happens their whole expression changes and their mask falls off for a bit, and it is astoundingly beautiful to witness. I live for those moments and those experiences fill me with hope. Those experiences may go by unnoticed by others and even by the person experiencing them, but somehow they know that for a moment they were different, and totally familiar at the same time.
We learn early and well that in order to cope in the world we can’t be who we really are. That’s the reality of forming our ego identity. The irony is that, if we want to be awake and aware of what is true, we must spend years unlearning what we were mistakenly taught. Something has to awaken in us a desire for truth. When that happens we begin the journey that takes a lifetime. We begin to find our selves.
What would happen if you allowed your self to see who you really are, your true self? What would have to change in your perception to allow that to happen? I’m asking the question sincerely because I don’t really know how. I get glimmers of insight of how to be myself, but every day, many times during the day I fake it. I go so far away from the truth that I am lost to myself. If I am lost to me who can possibly see me and know me? And how can I possibly know you? If you were to look at the world and others without your mask and see others as they are what would your life be like?
It’s time for us to live and see the truth and to let go of the fear that keeps us in hiding and keeps us small. Living our truth, honestly and openly is our greatest gift. It may be our only gift. It is an essential gift that we must give to one another and ourselves if we are to awaken to a world we want to live in and that will protect all of us.
Honest the truth, it’s up to each one of us.